Coercive Control
- Gina Conger
- Apr 14, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: Apr 22, 2023
Coercive control: the quiet sign
According to a student in domestic abuse homicides, 99% were preceded by coercive control. This makes it one of the top risk factors for intimate partner violence. Dr. Jane Monckton Smith, a senior lecturer in Criminology at the University of Gloucestershire, identified that in cases of domestic abuse homicide, the perpetrator follows a particular set of behavioral patterns. Dr. Smith categorized these patterns of behavior into 8 steps.
The steps are as follows:
The perpetrator has a HISTORY of stalking or abusive behavior.
The relationship DEVELOPS QUICKLY into a serious one.
COERCIVE CONTROL rules the relationship
There is a TRIGGER that threatens the perpetrator's control, like the relationship ending or financial difficulties.
There is an ESCALATION in intensity and/or frequency of the perpetrators controlling tactics.
The perpetrator has a CHANGE IN THINKING, such as choosing to move on from the relationship or through revenge or homicide.
The perpetrator PLANS the attack by buying weapons or looking for opportunities to get the victim alone.
The final step is HOMICIDE when the perpetrator kills their victim. Others can also be killed in this process, such as children.
So today, I was to discuss step 3. Coercive control is a pattern of behaviors that a perpetrator uses to create an unequal power dynamic to gain power and control in the relationship. They do this by breaking down the victim's self-esteem and independence. Some examples of Coercive controlling behavior are as follows:
MONITORING ACTIVITIES
Controlling what someone wears, where they go, who they spend time with, and what they eat or drink. They may demand access to their partner's phone, computer, email, or social media accounts.
EXERTING FINANCIAL CONTROL
Controlling someone's access to finances, not letting them make financial decisions, and taking money from the victim. This can sometimes leave their partner without food or clothes, making it much harder for the victim to leave the situation.
ISOLATING THE OTHER PERSON
Preventing the victim from going to school or work or manipulating their partner to cut contact with their family, friends, or support systems
INSULTING THE OTHER PERSON
Undermining their partner's self-esteem. This can include name-calling, like calling their partner fat. It is not uncommon for the victims of this behavior to start to believe they deserve these insults, but they DON'T
MAKING THREATS AND BEING INTIMIDATING
This behavior can include threats of physical violence, self-harm, and public humiliation. The perpetrator might also break household items or their partner's sentimental belongings to scare and intimidate them.
SEXUAL COERCION
The abuser manipulates their partner into unwanted sexual activity using pressure, threats, guilt trips, lies, or other trickery.
INVOLVE CHILDREN OR PETS
Abusers might use the kids or pets to control their partner by threatening them, telling their partner they are sick or hurt even if they aren't, or trying to take custody of either if the partner leaves. If children are involved, the perpetrator will sometimes try to manipulate kids not to like the other partner.
WITHHOLDING FOOD, DRINKS, OR EVERYDAY ITEMS
As you can see, not all signs of coercive control seem fatal, even though they are. An indication that the level of danger for the victim is rising is regular physical abuse, strangulation, and threats of harm or murder. Although coercive control is not illegal in the United States, there are organizations a person can turn to for support. These organizations can help with creating a safety plan which outlines steps that a person can take to stay safe while in the relationship, leaving the relationship, and after they have left. Here is an example of a safety plan from "Shelter for help in emergency.org."
If you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic violence or coercive control, please get in touch with family, friends, organizations, and networks to support you or them through the process. No one deserves this; everyone (deserves) to be valued and respected. There is hope.
My reporting:
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